Archive for the 'Habari' Category

Reasons Why When the Revolution Comes You Will Be First Against the Wall

I just read someone who calls themself Dark Rockstr saying Reasons Why (I Think) Habari Won’t Be “The Next Blog App”.

First off, how seriously can you take someone who can’t spell Rockstar with all its proper vowels??? Despite that, he is still worthy of being skewered for his tiny ideas.

“Reason 1: They are entering a somewhat dangerous market.”

The market is dangerous BECAUSE WE’RE IN IT. We’re all from New England and you don’t fuck with us, look what happened to the South. Or Iraq. We’ll tear up your hood like you got oil under it.

“I have read about so many new comers in the market who have submitted Digg stories about being the best and they quickly die off.”

Clearly you have not seen the amazing momentum we’ve sustained, with our userbase doubling almost every month and every major name in blogging abandoning WordPress like the sinking ship it is. More cooks make better soup!

“They are going to have to compete against many people who love the blogging app they are using with right now.”

Like our minions say on every blog post that mentions Habari, we’re not here to compete with other blogging platforms like WordPress. WE’RE HERE TO DOMINATE THEM. I will personally not rest until Matt switches to Habari, Ryan is Khaled’s bitch, and Mark turns in his guns.

“Reason 2: They built themselves a big boot with hype and hopes.”

That’s not our fault, the world saw how many amazing people were involved with Habari and their long history of leading successful projects and starting revolving around us accordingly.

“I have tested Habari and I have to say they are a long ways away from a final product, in my opinion, especially one that will rival my current favorite, WordPress.”

If you like WordPress, your definition of favorite must be slow and bloated software that sacrifices a CPU every time it tries to croak out a miserable little page. Habari probably isn’t right for you, I’d recommend looking into fine alternatives like Slashcode. (Editors note: Register slashwank.)

“Reason 3: Extensibility and security are hard things to build.”

We have objects orienting around objects so much we make the fucking milky way look like foam balls on a coat hanger. We’re so extensible we’re having installer plugins, SO YOU USE A PLUGIN BEFORE YOU EVEN INSTALL IT.

As for security, that’s a given. The first security notice in Habari will come roughly the same time you’re able to go deep sea fishing off the coast of Oklahoma.

“I have worked with in PHP, Java and VB, it’s not something that comes easy.”

I don’t think those languages were designed for the mentally retarded.

“There just isn’t enough features built-in right now for me to jump on the bandwagon, that’s all.”

The bandwagon is full, please refrain from trying to get on until you get a Habari tattoo and can be trusted again.

h0bbel then says, “That being said, the developers behind Habari has not been the ones spreading the hype and in fact most of them felt the attention they got was a bit premature.”

Yeah right, like coordinated blog posts announcing we were leaving WP wasn’t hype inducing, or attempting to get it on Digg, or the weekly screenshot masturbation. We’re dripping the blood of WP in the water to get the sharks into a frenzy so when our release comes out at the end of the month the entire blogging community simultaneously orgasms and takes Technorati down. (Not because of the orgasms, just because Technorati always goes down, the cheap tart.)

Advertisements

Everyone Gets a Vote

I’m continually amazed by how awesome and open the Habari process is. Today I read another email from Skippy that blew my mind. For those of you who don’t have time to read the whole thing, here’s an executive summary.

  • Everyone in Habari is equal, just some are more equal than others.
  • If you’re not more equal, your vote isn’t actually binding.
  • Apparently submitting 5 patches isn’t enough to be part of the “team”, you have to suck up to the team too.
  • In fact, “there is no well-defined route for gaining commit access.” (Rich Bowen) That sounds familiar!!!
  • Every committer has veto power! This is far better than in WordPress where just the Matt-devil vetoes things. (But don’t worry, they promise to only use the veto power when it’s really important.)

I’m so happy that Habari is going to go the route of Apache, which has produced such innovative products such as… googling… Apache Web Server! which is a 1.000 better than Lighttpd or Mongrel, rather than the benevolent dictator model which has produced crappy software like the Linux Kernel, Firefox, Ubuntu, Ruby on Rails, Python, OpenSSH, OpenBSD, Perl.

Ding dong, the logo’s dead

I just noticed something about the Habari installer mockup from yesterday.

IT USES THE BELL LOGO IN THE BACKGROUND.

You have to squint to see it kinda blurry.

I think this is a good idea, we should just take the bell logo from the pumpkin and run with it.

Secret Cabal Mailing List

I was reading through some stuff and came across this gem from the revered Scott Merrill aka Skippy about creating a private mailing list that only commiters can see:

“We (the committers) can discussion patches and contributions by others in a way that won’t get polluted by those people, and so their feelings wont get hurt as we discuss their contributions”

A couple of initial thoughts:

  • This is a FANTASTIC idea. The revered leaders need a place to discuss the hoi polloi without worrying their pretty little heads.
  • Will be perfect for gossip and collusion as well.
  • The existence of the list should be a secret as well. (Does it already exist?)
  • If people bitch about there being a list, we can just say it doesn’t exist but email and cc: each other all the time to basically have a list.
  • Finally, I WANT IN. Please please please please please please please please please.

I think my contributions to the blogosphere and Habari documentation warrant my inclusion into the secret cabal, and I will gladly submit myself to any hazing you bad boys have in mind.

Where’d all the losers come from?

Oh wait, that’s WordPress.

The all are welcome attitude of Habari that originally attracted me to the project is now attracting other former rejects, however now it’s ones that I think are not cool.

Case in point one: NuclearMoose. What has he ever contributed to any project, besides rambling posts about why he is or is not contributing? Is the rumor about him scaring away female contributors to WP true?

Case two: spencerp. Who the hell knows what this guy is saying half the time? Isn’t he the one that used his mod status on wordpress.org to hit on some chicks, and he got kicked off wordpress.org and install4free? Does he know how to quote an email? I hope you all welcome me here is the definition of needy and codependent. (On the bright side, he actually got Habari running.)

Maybe we can start a rule where only people who were actually wanted in the WordPress community would be allowed in the Habari one, before we become a haven for WP rejects. When do the cool kids stop being the cool kids? When they start hanging out with all the uncool kids.

Slippery Slope

So I’ve started studying my daily Habari emails, and I came across this blasphemous thread started by none other than one of our most revered founders Owen Winkler.

Let’s go line by line:

“I was bored”

Why on earth would you be bored when you have the most exciting project in the world to work on??? Oh wait…

“I put in the stuff I liked, took out the stuff I didn’t like, turned it all into HTML with a little DHTML and CSS, and baked it for three hours. Discuss.”

OH MY GOD HE JUST DIDN’t

This is exactly what the Matt-devil did to Shuttle!!!!

Now, I love Owen like he has lips like Angelina Jolie. But if you look at the crapfest 2007 that is WordPress it is clear that the MDevil just took the parts he liked, took out the stuff he didn’t like, and turned it into HTML. I thought this was everything we were trying to protect against. How DARE we make decisions like this without voting and without approvals of the designers! (Especially Khaled!)

The blasphemy continues:

“> 5. Color scheme need a little more work. (I like Khaled Design)

You guys keep working on that. I’ve got software to get to a dev-preview state by the end of the month. I’ll take a minute or two to nitpick over colors later if I need to.”

What the fuck!! You disrespect Khaled and people with good taste in one sentence? We should never trade speed for quality.

Finally the revered founder Chris J Davis says:

“Owen brings up a good point here at the end. Most of you who are new might not know that we are shooting for a Jan 31st Developer Preview Release. We (being Owen, Scott, Rich and I) really want to hit this first release deadline hard.”

The only thing that will hit hard is the thumping sound of Habari dying if we push out something that isn’t beautifully designed.

Also, I am worried by the arbitrary release date decision that was made without any public discussion. I think there should be a public vote ON A PUBLIC MAILING LIST about the release date, otherwise we suck just as much as WordPress.

New Avatar

I have a new avatar based on the most beautifulist Habari logo ever made from my idol Khaled of course.

By the way, I’m not sure why there’s all this arguing over the logo and stuff on the mailing list. First, only comitters should have a vote, right? All the people who aren’t commiters should just let the people with voice in the project just vote on the best stuff, which hopefully isn’t a pumpkin.

Or even better, why not make the logo an option? We’re not tying ourself to any one database or templating system why constrain the genius of this project in one logo? When people install or first visit our yet-to-be-domained site we can ask them to pick their favorite and then set a cookie and always show that to them in the future.

Or even better! When they set the cookie we can track which one they choose and then in 6 months make the official the one with the most votes, assuming of course the project leaders don’t veto it.