Archive for the 'Chris J Davis' Category


Chris Davis

“Most of you who are new might not know that we are shooting for a Jan 31st Developer Preview Release. We (being Owen, Scott, Rich and I) really want to hit this first release deadline hard. — Chris J. Davis, January 15th 2007

Some may be wondering after we, the elite Habari committers, promised a January 31st ship date for our developer preview why there hasn’t been a release yet. Or a website. I have prepared a list of reasons.

  1. Developers aren’t ready for the awesomeness that is Habari. It’s really for their own safety that they protect them from Habari while we dumb in down enough for the non-anointed.
  2. We decided that since N people working on something is better than 1. N + 1 will be N^N awesome, so we’ve decided to invite more cooks into the kitchen.
  3. We can’t fucking agree on anything. The meritocratic process is producing such a wealth of ideas we have had to slow down to keep up.

And those pesky WordPress developers? My feelings — as usual — we will slaughter them all.

“We never had an official release date” — Chris J. Davis, February 7th 2007


Jay vs. Owen

Jay Pipes destroyed my life.

Or that’s how I felt for the 25 minutes that the SVN repository was down and broke my minutely-cron-job which svn ups my sweet, lucious, tasty Habari installation. (Which represents 33% of all the awesome Habari blogs in the world.)

Then the other revered Habari commiters pushed him in a branch, so he wouldn’t break Most Valuable Wankers like me. (MVW)

Now most revered Owen Winkler is pushing back, saying “Fuck. I don’t understand this. I don’t understand why he had to change EVERYTHING. There’s no opportunity to see things into the core gradually. It’s either the pain in the ass of ripping out parts or just taking everything wholesale. It’s not just that it doesn’t work. It’s that there is hardly any of our existing code in it. He basically wrote his own system.”

Scott Merrill responded, “Jay’s been working in isolation with little input from us,” but wanted to “play diplomat” to avoid any publicity of the Habari development hating each other before a release is even out. “I’m not sure what Jay would say that would persuade me that merging would be worthwhile,” replied Owen.

I suggest both Jay and Owen whip it out on the table and settle this once and for all. I would suggest the same for Chris Davis, but his fear of regex doesn’t bode well for his endowment.

My vote? Get Khaled to decide. His supreme aesthetic sense would rock the PHP6 world if he deigned to use it. Or if he abstains, quietly kick Jay Pipes out before he causes any more trouble, and stick to the core group of commiters/voters that were at the in-person meeting that spawned Habari. I’m sure we could write two lines of code for every one that Jay contributed!

Slippery Slope

So I’ve started studying my daily Habari emails, and I came across this blasphemous thread started by none other than one of our most revered founders Owen Winkler.

Let’s go line by line:

“I was bored”

Why on earth would you be bored when you have the most exciting project in the world to work on??? Oh wait…

“I put in the stuff I liked, took out the stuff I didn’t like, turned it all into HTML with a little DHTML and CSS, and baked it for three hours. Discuss.”


This is exactly what the Matt-devil did to Shuttle!!!!

Now, I love Owen like he has lips like Angelina Jolie. But if you look at the crapfest 2007 that is WordPress it is clear that the MDevil just took the parts he liked, took out the stuff he didn’t like, and turned it into HTML. I thought this was everything we were trying to protect against. How DARE we make decisions like this without voting and without approvals of the designers! (Especially Khaled!)

The blasphemy continues:

“> 5. Color scheme need a little more work. (I like Khaled Design)

You guys keep working on that. I’ve got software to get to a dev-preview state by the end of the month. I’ll take a minute or two to nitpick over colors later if I need to.”

What the fuck!! You disrespect Khaled and people with good taste in one sentence? We should never trade speed for quality.

Finally the revered founder Chris J Davis says:

“Owen brings up a good point here at the end. Most of you who are new might not know that we are shooting for a Jan 31st Developer Preview Release. We (being Owen, Scott, Rich and I) really want to hit this first release deadline hard.”

The only thing that will hit hard is the thumping sound of Habari dying if we push out something that isn’t beautifully designed.

Also, I am worried by the arbitrary release date decision that was made without any public discussion. I think there should be a public vote ON A PUBLIC MAILING LIST about the release date, otherwise we suck just as much as WordPress.

A few words on idiots

When I first came across this post, A few words on Habari, I cried for two hours.

Not because this infidel dared criticize Habari or suggest it will be anything but a perfect success, but because of the sad sad sad life this person must live. As a sign of pity, I will take quotes from his entry and tell you why they are LIES!.

“Initially, I heard Habari on Chris Davis’ blog, later readings informed me that in fact he was the first person who broke the news, and also I believe currently the principal developer on the project.”

Sorry, you are not worthy to read Chris Davis’s blog. First lie.

“but over the days more Habari related posts emerged on blogs of couple bloggers who are important contributors in the WordPress community”

Wrong again! We weren’t important contributers, we WERE the WordPress community! All of it! It’s like a ghost town there. If you go to today it loads extra fast because we aren’t there!

“Personally, as a developer, I sometimes struggle with this problem [impotence] too.”

Wow, TMI dude. You should wash the WordPress off, it’ll clean that rash right up.

“I am really happy to see Habari being created and developed.”

After this entry, the only thing that will convince me of this is you tithing 10% of your salary to Skippy and Khaled.

“I hope the project does not step into the fate of other failed open source projects.”

By fate do you mean the RAGING SUCCESS of other Apache wannabe projects like Excaliber and Hivemind. Then COUNT ME IN. (Editors note to other Habari developers: Excaliber and Hivemind are really cool names, and I think the latter really describes our vibe, maybe we can destroy the other Apache project when we join and steal their name. We could probably get their logo too.)

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