The Coming of Scoble

Bobby ScobbyLook at how happy Robert Scoble is! You know why? Because he has seen the true light of the Habari way. Take care Habari community, He is watching.

I think now that we have caught the Eye of the Scoble, there is a limited opportunity to pounce onto his golden locks and grab hold of his imagination, his heart, his soul. We must move quickly, here is my suggested course of action:

  1. First, we make Him a core committer. We all know the process is arbitrary anyway, we might as well hook Him with responsibility now, like getting pregnant to keep that cute boy. (It’s not like he’s going to commit something anyway.)
  2. Next we partner Him with Khaled to replace the bums Michael Heilemann and Bryan Veloso who haven’t been contributing crap anyway. Scoble sees thousands of demos every day, His eye is finely tuned to the golden ratio of product success.
  3. Let’s make Scoble’s theme the default for the next Habari release. It’s nice and streamlined, and loads really fast.
  4. SuckPress names their releases after jazz musicians. Let’s start naming all our releases after Scoble, like George Foreman’s boys, girls, and grills are all named George. Habari 1.0 “The Robert”. Habari 1.1 “Bobby Scoble”. Habari 1.2 “Robertizer”. (Editors note: Someone contact his wife to find out if any of his body parts have nicknames.)
  5. Make sure all the Habari servers and developers run Seagate drives, and start a letter campaign to the CEO saying Scoble is the reason.
  6. Change our default post to be a 94 minute Podtech ScobleShow interview.
  7. Fellatio.
  8. Invite him to keynote at HabariCon 2007. Everyone in the audience should write I ❤ RS on their forehead prior to the keynote.

I think if we execute HARD on all of the above we will bag him, but we must do or do not… there is no try.


9 Responses to “The Coming of Scoble”

  1. 1 RoQ February 19, 2007 at 3:08 pm

    Oh plz… i know that this blog is some kind of joke, but there are things that you can’t write even in some kind of humor.
    Mr. Kick-ass-designer Michael Heilleman mades all the kick-ass mockups for the Habari Admin panel, include there tEH kick ass media manager, and the only thing that Khaled made is a abort of logo which you are using as avatar.
    Bryan Veloso?… well I agree that he sucks

  2. 3 habariwank February 19, 2007 at 10:49 pm

    Come on, the list is getting dozens of posts a day and he hasn’t made a peep in two weeks! How does he ever expect to become an Annointed Committer and get a binding vote if he doesn’t get off his designer butt and stop watching Kubrick films over and over and jump in?

  3. 4 RoQ February 20, 2007 at 1:56 am

    Wait a sec, he made his part and all of those amazing mockups are still mockups, ergo if the coders can´t materialize them he has nothing more to bring to the list.
    Also, I didnt see too much action on the Khaled side.

  4. 5 Root February 20, 2007 at 10:55 am

    NOW HOLD ON there for JUST ONE SECOND. As soon as a coder asks for anything daft like er some web useable graphics the photoshop rangers all put their heads down. Or if he asks what happens if I click on that link there….Or if he asks if they really want a 2 to 5 to 4 to 3 1/2 col switcher……….

  5. 6 Root February 20, 2007 at 10:56 am

    And #8. I am leaving to the experts.

  6. 8 Nora March 6, 2007 at 7:14 am

    Shuttup Root! 🙂

    Robert’s wife is the much blogged-about Miriam.

  7. 9 samanatha January 18, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    this doesn’t get updated all that much does it?

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About Habari Wank

This blog is the most definitively source for Habari news, themes, plugins, and development info written by the most loving Habari user and developer and documentor ever.

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