Open Letter to The Guru

Hello Mr Computer Guru, thanks for posting about why you joined Habari. Here is a numbered list of feedback:

  1. Nobody likes a turncoat. I won’t trust you until you have a Habari tattoo. I DON’T CARE IF WE DON’T HAVE A LOGO YET!
  2. If you have to have “smart” in your domain name…

But wait, there’s more!

“I wasn’t planning on blogging about any of this until I officially became a committer in the Habari project, but after reading this post, I feel the need to share my reasons.”

You must have missed the memo. Unless you have commit your thoughts don’t actually matter. Save some bandwidth and keep them to yourself.

“I’ve been a loyal contributor the WordPress project and a ardent (for lack of a more aggressive word) WP-Hacker for what seems like forever – even though it isn’t.”

Ah June 2006, it was so long ago.

“I didn’t leave WordPress because Matt is the devil-incarnate nor because I’m put off that he wouldn’t hire me (not interested), but because Habari is a challenge. It’s something I’ve always wanted to work on.”

… Even when I said WordPress was the best and only platform out there. Points for linking HW though.

“Habari isn’t about the money, the traffic, or the popularity, it’s about the code and the design.”

Which is why people are already squatting our name in different languages! Good thing we never want a trademark.

“It’s about stretching our imaginations to the limits, using every last feature in the newest releases of PHP and MySQL to power a blogging platform. It’s about true creativity.”

Non sequitur.

“It’s not just a means to an end, rather the journey itself is what makes it so exciting.”

Which is why we’re rushing to ship by the end of the month. (A decision that we still haven’t voted on or discussed.)

“But more than that, WordPress has reached a stage where nothing more than bug-fixes and changing the location of a button are getting committed.”

WordPress 4.0 will just be a bunch of buttons random moving around each update.

“Matt and Ryan are busy with and you can’t blame them.”

Yes you can, sucks. I throw up in my mouth a little every time I have to do a post here.

“Habari’s developers aren’t looking for money, they’re just looking for a way to sum up everything the world has learned about blogging in the past couple of years.”

Which is why we argue endlessly about a logo.

“Whereas other platforms didn’t have the virtue of past precedents”

I forgot there were no blogging platforms before the almighty WordPress in the ComputerGuru/Newsmart world.

“If a core feature has to be delayed months to get it written in a clean way that doesn’t employ hacks and ploys, that’s not a problem.”


“With a meritocracy like Habari, getting input from the community and having fun are just as important as getting it done.”

Which is why we already have incompatible branches!

“We all go back to WordPress and dutifully submit more patches, dream up of admin interfaces that Matt will never commit, and wait around for the next big thing.”

What if Matt commits Shuttle (or OMG Atlantis) before we release?

“Habari, like all “utopian” & “idealistic” projects, can easily become a victim of its own perfection.”

My last boyfriend said that. He was a prick too.

“Sometimes projects need someone to set down his or her foot and declare “This is what we’re going to do,” and it’s up to Habari now to prove that’s not the case.”

Leading through indecision!

“Even more, Habari’s “extreme” software requirements”

Like having to deal with you?

“We stand by what we said about WordPress, and that’s all part of the challenge.”

OMG you just switched to the royal we, I think I peed myself.

Maybe we should start a fake fork of Habari to draw out the trendy vagrants who followed us from WordPress. They’ll jump to whatever is new like moths to a flame. We’ll write it using PHP6 and MySQL 5.2.


9 Responses to “Open Letter to The Guru”

  1. 1 Computer Guru January 21, 2007 at 5:25 pm

    You really do need to check your options, because your blog isn’t sending any pingbacks, it’s not just to Broken Kode. My fall-back “incoming links” plugin had to fake a pingback for you.

  2. 2 Lauren January 21, 2007 at 5:42 pm

    Hah. Between the two of wanks on WordPress, I get all my laughs in a week. I love the fact that he calls himself “Guru” and his lovely patronizing tone when he blogs, don’t you?

    I didn’t leave WordPress because Matt is the devil-incarnate nor because I’m put off that he wouldn’t hire me (not interested)

    Is it me or do I sense some resentment? Was his ego punctured?

  3. 4 Owen January 22, 2007 at 12:51 pm

    Dang it, I knew we should have been using PHP6 all along. We should vote to change this – in private, of course.

  4. 5 Beth-Anne January 24, 2007 at 10:46 pm

    Get a life.
    Computer Guru is a nice guy, and he’s contributed loads to Habari so far. If it wasn’t for him, Habari wouldn’t have XMLRPC or Pingbacks – though it doesn’t seem you know how to use Pingbacks on your blog judging from the above comments.

    Instead of “contributing” all this hatred and rubbish to Habari, why don’t you use your keyboard to do something useful and fix some of the outstanding issues in the tracker?
    Or if you don’t know PHP (Mr. Know-it-All), at least volunteer some of blog space to *real* ideas for a good platform – and stop being such a pain in the ass.

    Not only are you not contributing to Habari, but you’re also chasing those that really do away from the project. Get real.

  5. 6 Root January 24, 2007 at 11:21 pm

    She might not have noticed the commentators on this post. But with a name like Beth-Anne what do you expect. 🙂

  6. 7 habariwank January 25, 2007 at 4:49 am

    Thank you for your insight Beth-Anne, your contribution is what makes discussion on the internet so great.

  7. 8 Database Hacker July 2014 July 14, 2014 at 10:31 am

    Heya this is somewhat of off topic but I
    was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with
    HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding experience so I wanted to
    get advice from someone with experience. Any
    help would be enormously appreciated!

  1. 1 Habari | Cornell Finch Trackback on January 21, 2007 at 10:54 pm

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About Habari Wank

This blog is the most definitively source for Habari news, themes, plugins, and development info written by the most loving Habari user and developer and documentor ever.

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